If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
