how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
