GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
