I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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