she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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