I want to make a zoo with you.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
