So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
