I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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