I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
