Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
