She announced her abortion via fbk
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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