this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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