you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
