Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
