AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
