My room smells like vodka and shame
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
