Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
dude. I can hear the air.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
