Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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