note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
