I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
