The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
