can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
