did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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