Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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