just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
