so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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