He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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