Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
