He kissed a someone with a penis
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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