What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I puked a lego.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize