Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
