escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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