I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
