quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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