Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Green mimosas i think yes
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
