wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
