So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
