He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
