the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
