Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
