my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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