that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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