i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
His nipple licking is glorious
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