Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
