I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
