jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
