I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
