Whats the glycemic index on semen?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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