I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My bed smells like the plague
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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