It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
