i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
