So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I have feelings that need drinking.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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