yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
