I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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