I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize