white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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